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Jokes

Two friends, Jenny and Jinny were thinking what to play during the afternoon. For a long time, they could not decide upon any game. Suddenly, Jenny had an idea. She turned to Jinny and said excitedly. "Let's play schools".

"OK!" said Jinny. "But I'm going to be absent."


"You're single aren't you?"

A woman walks into a supermarket and buys:

1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube of toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 single serving of cereal
1 single serving frozen dinner
1 can of Soup For One
1 16oz can of Miller Lite

The guy at the checkout looks at her and says, "Single, are you?"

The woman smiles sweetly and replies, "How did you guess?"

He replies, "Because you're ugly."


Ek 10 saal ka bachha bahot dhyan se ek book pad raha tha, jiska title tha: "Kids ka paalan poshan kaise kare".

Mother: Tum yeh book kyon pad rahe ho.

Kid: Main yeh dekhna chahta hoon ke mera paalan poshan theek tara se ho raha hai ya nahi.


Yamraj asks 3 ladies -
Kabhi kiss kiya?
1st lady : Shadi se pehle.
Yamraj : Chal Nark me.
2nd Lady : Shaadi ke baad.
Yamraj : Chal Swarg me.
3rd Lady : Na pehle na baad me.
Yamraj : Chal kamre me!!!
 


Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave
Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.
 


Sardar to Girlfriend= Darling main tum se shaadi nahi karsakta gharwale mana karrahe hai. Girlfriend= Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun hai. Sardar= 1 biwi aur 3 bacche...


Santa: Bhai sahab time kya hua? Man: Sham k 6 baje hain! Santa: Sala, subah se pooch raha hoon, sab alag alag time bata rahe hain.


 
SMS

Santa was inserting dog's tail into pipe. Banta: Oye, kutte ki dum kabhi seedhi nahi hoti. Santa: Idiot, main to pipe bend kar raha hoon.


Kabhi kabhi mere Dil me khayal aata hai
Khuda tere jaise namune kyo banata hai.


Aaj, kal, harpal, har samay, har vaqt, maheno, salo saal se ek DIL tumhare liye dhadakta tha aur dhadakta rahega aur wo DIL hai ur's own DEAR.


u r Ultimate
u r Lovely
u r Likable
u r Unique
In short ...... u r ULLU !!!


Khush to bahot hoge tum,
Ki forward karne k liye SMS mil gaya,
Magar ab kya karoge...?
Jab msg me kuch bhi nahi mila...?
Ha ha ha ha


Zindagi ki raah me hum dono sath chalenge....
thora tum chalna, thora mai chalunga
,......phir aage chal kar rikshaw karwa lenge.